Deserving

“I truly have a blessed life. I truly don’t deserve it. . . There is no deserve. There just is.” – Evan Daniel Bogart Countless times I’ve listened to the above words in an audio clip while watching the accompanying video Evan’s friends made and shared after his funeral services. I’ve savored the sound of…

Truth and Beauty

Our daughter Xhiv’s courage and vulnerability in sharing her often misunderstood grief surrounding the death of her birth mother and the losses which accompany adoption continues to teach us to face sorrow and loss with fortitude and honesty. Evan was a fan of Xhiv’s art because he valued truth telling and her art is raw…

Yarn and Tangled Thoughts

I’m knitting a blanket for our ninth grandchild, who is due to make an appearance in Houston in December. When I don’t pay attention, my yarn catches on a chair or table leg or gets wrapped around some other object and I have to interrupt the rhythm of my knitting to free it. Similarly, the…

Flooded, Deluged, Inundated

When I began this blog I liked the word, “inundated” and having very little idea what it meant, I relished the notion of being submerged in, flooded with, and totally overwhelmed with Love. The suffering of Evan’s death is changing me. From the moment I first heard the news. Sorrow cut chasms into my inmost…

Water and Rocks

Today Doug and I went for an easy hike along the shores of a peaceful lake in the White Mountains. As we walked along, a rhythmic phrase invaded my thoughts, “water and rocks, rocks and water, water and rocks”. I was lagging a bit behind and my attentive husband turned and asked, “Are you okay?”…

Rivers of Joy, Streams of Tears

It was in August four years ago that he coaxed and cajoled until I agreed to go with him. I had once been hurled against a rock by a smaller calmer river and was scared. He promised he wouldn’t let me fall from his raft, a promise he kept. Strong, commanding, professional; he knew what…