Past Pets and Present Pooches

My kitten was soft and gentle and I loved the purring noise she made as she sat on my lap and the way her tongue almost tickled my hand when she licked me. I was about ten-years-old and our barn cat had given birth to a few kittens. Unfortunately the whole litter contracted a disease…

In Honor of my Good Friend

Today I write to honor my dear friend Kris Franklin. She was a true friend who recently and suddenly died. I’m reeling with grief. My words will inevitably fall short of conveying the depth and beauty of our friendship, nor could they ever do justice to the brilliant light she was in the world, but…

Family Life in the Cul-de-sac

In February, when we moved two doors down from Cana and Ennie we knew our lives would be intertwined with theirs like never before. Then Chris and Xhiv moved back home too. All of us are living through an inconvenient and messy remodel, knowing that life will be more settled in a few more months….

Consider it all Joy

A week ago I lay alone and in pain in the hospital in the middle of the night after an ER visit and a long series of blood draws, IV’s, and ex rays. The grief and pain of 66 years of life, especially that of the 14 months since Evan’s death flooded into my thoughts…

Uniting My Tears with Mary’s

If you’re a practicing Catholic you’re familiar with processions. Priests, deacons, lectors, and altar servers process toward the altar at Mass. You also may have walked and prayed in Eucharistic processions for special occasions like Corpus Christi or Holy Thursday. Maybe you’ve even participated in a procession for a May Crowing outside the Mass, but…

The Rocking Chair

This morning, stepping into the courtyard where we’re staying in Antigua, Guatemala, I was arrested by the sight of a rocking chair. The chair looks like a replica of one we had when I brought home our youngest daughter and the sight of it brought back a cherished memory. I was seated in the rocker…

Being at Home

At a recent retreat someone asked me where I am from, then quickly clarified, “where is your home?” Laughing I sang out my answer, “This world is not my home, I’m just a passing’ through.” I’ve lived in so many places I sometimes think I could adapt to life anywhere while other times I wonder…

Good Like Evan

When Evan was about 18, in the middle of an intense conversation, he said “Mama, you don’t get it, you want to be good.” My response was, “What??? You don’t????” At this stage of my life, the desire to be good drove me so completely that it hadn’t occurred to me that he might not…

Thoughts, Feelings & Desires

Thoughts enter my mind, feelings wash over me, and I desire what I do not possess. Much of the time I can push my thoughts aside, ignore my feelings, and distract myself from what I desire, but I’m healthier, both mentally and physically when I take an honest look at my thoughts, feelings, and desires….

A Letter to Evan a Year Later

(written Feb 28, 2023, the one year anniversary of your funeral vigil) Dear Evan A year ago tonight we went to the church and heard eulogies from friends and family. We asked your Aunt Laura, Uncle Lane and Ennie to represent our family because neither your dad nor I nor your four siblings wanted to…