When Evan was about 18, in the middle of an intense conversation, he said “Mama, you don’t get it, you want to be good.” My response was, “What??? You don’t????” At this stage of my life, the desire to be good drove me so completely that it hadn’t occurred to me that he might not…

Thoughts enter my mind, feelings wash over me, and I desire what I do not possess. Much of the time I can push my thoughts aside, ignore my feelings, and distract myself from what I desire, but I’m healthier, both mentally and physically when I take an honest look at my thoughts, feelings, and desires….

(written Feb 28, 2023, the one year anniversary of your funeral vigil) Dear Evan A year ago tonight we went to the church and heard eulogies from friends and family. We asked your Aunt Laura, Uncle Lane and Ennie to represent our family because neither your dad nor I nor your four siblings wanted to…

When I retired, 16 months ago, I prayerfully considered what I might do during the workday hours. The words “be radically available” came to mind, so I began to ponder what that might mean. Mornings I lingered in our prayer room until time to walk to morning Mass and occasionally invited friends over for a…

Today is Shrove Tuesday or Mardi Gras. Evan’s funeral and burial was on March 1st which was Mardi Gras last year, so I suppose I ought to have been prepared for the tsunami of grief that would topple me this morning. “Our God is a saving God; he, the Lord, holds the keys of death.”…

For the 1,176.5 miles between our former house in Phoenix and our current house in Houston I followed Doug’s big red Dodge Ram. Mostly I drove directly behind him, but there were a few times while driving on multi-lane freeways through big cities that I lost sight of the Ram and had to talk myself down…

We arrived home to Houston on the one year anniversary of Evan’s rafting accident. We didn’t plan it that way, but we all agree that somehow it’s most fitting. Today is the one year anniversary of the day we received the devastating text message from Doug. He had flown to Guatemala where the search continued…

When I was about 12 years old, my siblings came up with the idea to do a circus show for our parents and neighbors. The plan was to set up rows of chairs outside and make tickets and popcorn and lemonade for our audience. Through clever disguises one brother appeared to have very short legs…

Faithful friends are a sturdy shelter; whoever finds one finds a treasure. Faithful friends are beyond price, no amount can balance their worth. Faithful friends are life-saving medicine. . . Sirach 6:14-16a This truth has been ringing in my heart in recent days and weeks. God has blessed me with faithful friends my whole life….

When our children were small I mistakenly thought it my job to lovingly control their behavior and brush aside any negative feelings, proving what a happy family we were. And while I truly desired what was best for them, my ideas of what was best were impoverished. Unwilling to endure the small-minded judgment of others…