What does radical trust look like? It’s trust without reserve, trust with unwavering confidence. Not confidence that nothing bad will happen, but relying on God to be good and loving no matter how things turn out.
This past week I shared with a small group a meditation on the first verse of Psalm 23. “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.“
Immediately after the meeting I accidentally locked the key to my vehicle inside the building. In the not so distant past, I’d have shamed myself with accusations of irresponsible behavior or stupidity, but instead I owned my mistake in good humor and asked for a ride home. A friend was happy to help me.
I had a reasonable plan to retrieve my keys and the truck. But, when I phoned the friend I was counting on to help, her plans had changed and she wasn’t available. So, I called another friend. She couldn’t help either, but while talking to her, I decided I didn’t need a ride after all. It was a long walk, but doable. I also remembered we had an extra key for the truck and I could take that with me, in case nobody was there to unlock the building.
About a block into my solo trek, the bags I was carrying felt far heavier than I expected. That’s when discouragement began chipping away at my confidence. Old familiar lies shaped in the form of questions and doubts invaded my mind. “Your friends didn’t want to be bothered by you. Do you really think you had something to share with others? Your whole day is wasted. Do you even know what you want or need? What’s wrong with you? Are you sure you should be walking down the street? You look ridiculous.”
I took a deep breath recalling our discussion earlier that morning and recognized the downward spiral of my thoughts. What was the truth? The truth was that if I’d really needed the help of others, they would have been available, they wanted to help. What I shared with others was well received. I may be a bit indecisive about my desires or needs, but I can trust that I’m on a good path anyway. I can trust that I’m safe and I will know what to do if I see signs of danger,
Having combatted lies with truth, I saw the beauty around me. The air was crisp, and the sun bright. God wanted to shower me with his love in the form of a a beautiful November day, a song in my heart, and more steps than had been clocked on my Fitbit for a long time.
Gratitude welled up inside me for God’s provision for me and I felt the reassurance of his loving presence .
All those lies vanished like smoke as I walked in radical trust.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
on your own intelligence do not rely;
In all your ways be mindful of him,
and he will make straight your paths.Proverbs 3:5 & 6