Our response to particular words can derail us from a path of spiritual growth. Recently, a friend commented (via email) that she has been put off by recommendations to practice “detachment”. Though, often recommended by spiritual writers, she couldn’t seem to get past her conception of detachment as aloofness from friends and family or denial of pleasure in life’s material goods.

However when she reframed the idea of detachment as “surrender”, she began to see it in a more attractive light. “Surrender, especially as in laying down a heavy burden,” she noted, “is inviting.”

But, for me, the word “surrender” brought its own negative connotations. I thought of an army resigning itself to the loss of a battle and signaling defeat with a white flag. But, upon further reflection I discovered other nuances of meaning. For example, when my husband kisses me and, instead of resisting or giving my attention to something else, I actively receive him returning the kiss, that’s surrender. I detach myself from everything else in order to be present to him.

So when we surrender all to Jesus, we let Him love us more fully than we have allowed Him to love us in the past. He seems especially pleased when we surrender our sorrows and the things we don’t understand. When we cast aside doubts, confusion and pain to receive His love, imagine the joy that is his in seeing us rest in his love!

So perhaps when we ponder detachment and surrender, it will help to emphasize not what we give up, but the expansion of love that comes to take its place.

Your kingdom come,

your will be done,

on earth as in heaven.

Matthew 6: 10