August is here. The 9th of this month marks 18 months since Evan died. People ask how we are doing. It’s amazing when I stop to think about it. We are doing well. I speak of Evan often. I suppose I always will. But I cry less and laugh more than I did in the early days of grief. And I can sing again. It doesn’t mean the grief has ended, but for me, at least, it’s not so crushingly weighty now.
A couple of days ago, just after we finished praying evening prayer we heard a gentle knock on the door. Twelve year old Lucia appeared. Oliver (who is three) wanted to say goodnight to us before going to bed. Lucia gestured him toward us. “Go on . . ..” Oliver rather shyly approached both Doug and me, hugged us goodnight, then promptly ran back to his big sister, presumably now ready and willing to go to bed.
After they left, we turned toward each other, “He wanted to say goodnight to us!” How is it that such a simple gesture of love from a child moves us so deeply? Why does it feel like a healing balm. to our grieving hearts? I suspect it’s partly because our grandson didn’t ask anything from us. He simply desired to see us. I’m not sure he really new what he wanted. Whatever it was, a goodnight hug was enough.
On another topic, our remodel is coming along. If you’re interested in more details of the work Doug does you can find his YouTube videos under Dcndrbogart. It’s amazing how much he accomplishes each day and each week!
Our dining room table has a perfect spot in our new home beneath the chandelier. Doug grew up eating around this table, so it’s special to us. Our old oak table goes a long way toward making Texas feel like home.
This is the view from the front entrance to the prayer room and the chairs where Doug and I were seated when Oliver came to say goodnight. A daunting space for a three-year-old to traverse at nightfall. No wonder he was timid!
This is the most organized our closet has ever been!!! Chaos in other places seems to encourage us to keep order where we can!
We have a couch and chairs in the family room. We still have lots of boxes to unpack. Unsightly utility tables are put to use until Doug finishes shelves and cabinets. A rug and other decorating to follow.
Our guest bathroom and bedroom are ready for houseguests! Doug’s sister was our first guest.
We now prepare all our food at our own house even though the kitchen is still being remodeled. It is ridiculously inconvenient, yet I like cooking in my own space so much that it’s worth the inconvenience. Doug is working steadily on building custom kitchen cabinets which will maximize our storage space.
We miss nightly meals at Cana’s. She mentioned to me that they miss us being there too. Like much of life, it was a beautiful but temporary season.
The pangs we feel at change, I believe, are caused by the spaces in our hearts specifically carved out for infinite love. It’s evidence to me that we’re made for union with the Eternal One whose love is both new every morning and never-changing.
One final photo taken from just inside the back door with the dining room to the left and the laundry area to the right.
It’s my butcher block bread kneading table. It was scarred and stained, but I sanded it the other day and Doug put a finish on it. It’s impressive how beautifully it’s been restored. He made it years ago and plans to put wheels on it so I can move it into the kitchen when I want to use it there.
In the meantime it’s a good spot to fold laundry.
May the favor of the Lord our God be ours.
Prosper the work of our hands!
Prosper the work of our hands!
Psalm 90:17
As we await the fulfillment for which our hearts long, we’re ever so grateful for this season of life, this place, and the daily work by which our family shares in the healing power of love
Inundated with Love 
As always lani you amaze me with the peace I feel as I read your pod casts.. know that Evan also is watching you
LikeLike