Back in Phoenix now, I’m feeling “in-between” two distinct places. I know Phoenix well. Yesterday we drove past a place where Evan took me for lunch just once and it hit me that I’m leaving this place that holds innumerable memories. After Evan’s first deployment to Afghanistan I was working at St. Thomas the Apostle…

We bought our house in “as is” condition because it’s in the same cul de sac with Cana & Ennie and our grandkids. We were also okay with “as is” because we have been blessed with the will and ability to labor, more than with funds to pay for work already done. Besides we like…

I’m in Houston with Cana and Ennie as their family adjusts to the addition of their ninth child, Evan Marie Immaculée. It’s quiet now compared to the previous few days when we, along with the baby’s Great Aunt Laura, her Uncles Jonathan and Chris, and her Tia Xhiv, each still reeling from the loss of…

On the first Sunday of Advent we began negotiations with the buyer of our Phoenix house. We also made an offer to buy a home in Southeast Houston just two doors down from Cana and Ennie. Both sales are now complete and our new adventure has begun! We filled two vehicles and a trailer and…

Evan spoke openly about his “brain worms”, not literal worms, but his preferred term for the mental illnesses known as Bipolar II and PTSD. His openness and eventual acceptance of mental illness enabled him to help others and to receive the support he needed. He advocated for an end to the stigma and shame surrounding…

We began the day with 6:30am Mass at St. Bernadette where the intention was for Evan. And the day ended with a beautiful Instagram post by our daughter, Xhiv. She shares this painting and another featured in my previous blogpost as well as a photo from her apartment. You can see her post by following…

Since last April I’ve known traditional Christmas carols could be a grief trigger. One from my playlist randomly played while I was driving. When that wave of grief hit I sat crying in a parking lot until I realized I could have simply forwarded to the next song, making it possible to stave off the…

While going through a box of old papers, I was surprised to come across the following words in my own handwriting: It is in journeying TOGETHER that we are able to glimpse the true meaning of Perfect Love. Because we fail each other so miserably we see even more our great need for the Creator…

Recently I woke up thinking, “I feel like I’m watching a long movie and I missed a lot of what already happened and my brain is trying to figure out what I missed which puts me in danger of missing what’s happening in the moment.” When I shared these thoughts with my husband, he said,…

I awakened sobbing in the middle of the night and had been out of sorts and teary all morning. I’ve come to accept that some days in this grief are just like that. I decided a brisk walk in the crisp morning air to Mass and back might help, but I still cried most of…