A week ago I lay alone and in pain in the hospital in the middle of the night after an ER visit and a long series of blood draws, IV’s, and ex rays. The grief and pain of 66 years of life, especially that of the 14 months since Evan’s death flooded into my thoughts…

If you’re a practicing Catholic you’re familiar with processions. Priests, deacons, lectors, and altar servers process toward the altar at Mass. You also may have walked and prayed in Eucharistic processions for special occasions like Corpus Christi or Holy Thursday. Maybe you’ve even participated in a procession for a May Crowing outside the Mass, but…

This morning, stepping into the courtyard where we’re staying in Antigua, Guatemala, I was arrested by the sight of a rocking chair. The chair looks like a replica of one we had when I brought home our youngest daughter and the sight of it brought back a cherished memory. I was seated in the rocker…

At a recent retreat someone asked me where I am from, then quickly clarified, “where is your home?” Laughing I sang out my answer, “This world is not my home, I’m just a passing’ through.” I’ve lived in so many places I sometimes think I could adapt to life anywhere while other times I wonder…

When Evan was about 18, in the middle of an intense conversation, he said “Mama, you don’t get it, you want to be good.” My response was, “What??? You don’t????” At this stage of my life, the desire to be good drove me so completely that it hadn’t occurred to me that he might not…

Thoughts enter my mind, feelings wash over me, and I desire what I do not possess. Much of the time I can push my thoughts aside, ignore my feelings, and distract myself from what I desire, but I’m healthier, both mentally and physically when I take an honest look at my thoughts, feelings, and desires….

(written Feb 28, 2023, the one year anniversary of your funeral vigil) Dear Evan A year ago tonight we went to the church and heard eulogies from friends and family. We asked your Aunt Laura, Uncle Lane and Ennie to represent our family because neither your dad nor I nor your four siblings wanted to…

When I retired, 16 months ago, I prayerfully considered what I might do during the workday hours. The words “be radically available” came to mind, so I began to ponder what that might mean. Mornings I lingered in our prayer room until time to walk to morning Mass and occasionally invited friends over for a…

Today is Shrove Tuesday or Mardi Gras. Evan’s funeral and burial was on March 1st which was Mardi Gras last year, so I suppose I ought to have been prepared for the tsunami of grief that would topple me this morning. “Our God is a saving God; he, the Lord, holds the keys of death.”…

For the 1,176.5 miles between our former house in Phoenix and our current house in Houston I followed Doug’s big red Dodge Ram. Mostly I drove directly behind him, but there were a few times while driving on multi-lane freeways through big cities that I lost sight of the Ram and had to talk myself down…