Early in our marriage, Doug and I met regularly with a few other couples. We wanted to be accountable to one another for the way we lived the Christian life in our marriage and our family life. We made a solemn promise to put into practice a particular passage of scripture which contains practical rules for Christian living.
Therefore, putting away falsehood, speak the truth, each one to his neighbor, for we are members one of another, Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun set on your anger, and do not leave room for the devil. (Ephesians 4: 25)
I discovered that when I intentionally hid my thoughts, feelings, desires, or actions from those I loved, especially my husband, I was not able to be kind, compassionate and forgiving as I desired. When I did the hard work of exposing the truth, I inevitably experienced a deeper level of love and acceptance.
We have not, by any stretch of the imagination lived perfectly this early commitment to speaking the truth. But through 42 years of marriage, the practice of honesty has safeguarded us from multiple temptations and built a firm foundation of trust between us.
It pains me today to hear spouses lie to one another and parents lie without shame, effectively teaching their children that the truth is optional. How can we establish love relationships in families if we cannot trust each other to tell the truth?
When tempted to hide out of reticence, fear or shame, let’s consider the words of Christ:
And this is the verdict, that the light came into the world, but people preferred darkness to light, because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come toward the light, so that his works might not be exposed. But whoever lives the truth comes to the light, so that his works may be clearly seen as done in God. John 3:19
I want to live in the radiance of God’s love. The light of his love dispels all doubt, fear, violence, and hatred. His light overcomes the darkness. There is no darkness that can overcome the Light!